Apostrophic Chunder

I am fairly certain that this person doesn't read my blog. We got this email today or yesterday, and I'm delighted by it. I want to read it aloud. I want to know what it means. I think it must be some kind of encrypted message that could unlock the mysteries of the universe. Here it is, unabridged and unedited:

To who mau it consult I am sorry, but it is each movie time is stopping to watch.then if we move little then its start again on flash. I try on quick time is hard, so try to find solution to see continue each lesson because each lesson(movie) is 2-6 minute but its takes 10-15 minutes thank you

I finally found a way to ride my bike to work without getting wiped out by a monster truck. I did make the mistake of doing a test run last night. I found that outside of main street we have zero street light coverage. I'll have to do all of my street riding during the day unless I grab a headlight and some reflective clothing. I can't find my helmet, so I'll be buying a new one in short order. For the longest time I thought helmets were nerdy and silly but I know casual cruisers and bike messengers who have been hit by cars while riding so I don't really care what I look like as long as my dome stays intact. The ride is 3.3 miles so I'll get in almost 7 miles a day! The bike commute plus one or two brisk 15 minute walks during the day should be enough to get me warmed up for the new health and fitness center opening in September! This place is so serious, they're giving us all rigorous physical tests before we can even work out. So I'm getting in shape to get in shape, like Seinfeld said. I was just eying the distance from the office to school, but it's 7+ miles so it would probably take me 45 minutes to an hour to get there from here. This means that I would need to come in super early and leave super late to punch that clock into submission. Is it worth all that? I think not. So when classes start I'll only be able to ride on Tuesdays and Thursdays. But this still cuts down on the cost of gasoline and hopefully takes some inches off the old butt and gut!

We go to a house or studio full of tattoo artists. They are gruff and well decorated, but mostly friendly. I'm trying to describe a tattoo that I want but even to myself it sounds as though I'm just making it up as I go along. It occurs to me that it's not a very important tattoo. The artist that I'm talking to says that this part of the process could be considered extra and might require compensation, so we agree that it would be better if I went off and actually drew up the tattoo myself and brought it back. Then somehow it turns out that the tattoo artists and a whole crowd of other such hipsters, beatniks, and assorted characters have a party at my dream house while I'm not home. There were only two real life people in the dream. One was a former associate, who had set up camp in a rugged screened-in outdoor sort of porch room on one corner of the house. I insisted that she move inside to the guest room. Upon examining the guest room, I found there a mutual acquaintance (in the dream, but in real life I've never seen the guy). He had some good beer in the fridge, and he and my Dad (where did he come from?!) started singing Elton John songs together? YesssS. So then my real life girlfriend comes along and you can imagine that she is none too pleased about this fiasco. I try to explain that I didn't know all these people would be coming over, and that I couldn't let anybody sleep outside, even somebody I don't really know anymore... Luckily I woke up after that, before she really let me have it.

Deb's imac is hosed and it won't boot from the tiger CD/DVD. We all had a whack at it. I think it's got some video card or other hardware related woes. When you log in, entire horizontal bands of the display show particolored snow. When these things happen, I just block them from my memory and repeat to myself that Macs are better, so much better. I've been thinking about putting together a screaming intel duo clone with some bsd flavor and toying with it at home. Unfortunately I can't afford to do that because I just bought a macbook pro that is on the fast track to obsolescence along with every other piece of technology in my arsenal (and yours). This post isn't just a bunch of name brand dropping. To put it simply, I hate computers and I can't wait until they are self organizing, low profile, and part of the fabric of everything. I can't wait until they are so pervasive that 9 out of 10 people can make them go, and I'm the 10th who has a guy who does that.

My employer keeps the temperature low, low, low. It's hot outside and I'm in here wearing a big baby blue hoody that should have been discarded 5 years ago, possibly longer. I'm wearing flip flops. The kind that really bug people when they see men wearing flip flops and they don't like it when men wear flip flops for whatever stupid neurotic reason that they are harboring in their walnut sized brains. I wish some of those people were here with me now, but I'm alone. I'm locked up in my office with my frozen toes and my flip flops that would really bother you if you were one of those people. Today I'm giving away my old four track and a sequencer synthesizer, but I think the person I'm giving them to just decided that the four track is too old. It does... *cough* utilize cassette tapes. I have all these old tapes that I should not convert to CD. I have all these songs that I should pretend I didn't record back in the 90s. I hate this hoody too. As soon as I put it on, food just flies at it from wherever food lives. I hate white shirts too. While we're on the subject, I still don't care for V-necks. Today they offered me the chance to enter a pool to guess things about a co-worker's soon to be be born baby. I opted out because I have other things on my mind. I'm afraid that I just can't use my psychic powers for financial gain. In the recesses of my mind I know that I should let this domain, this blog, this senseless drivel... expire. It's due to expire soon. All of it. Today's blog is dedicated to people who talk to you about sports even though they know you don't care about sports. Also, a shout out to religious zealots! We're going to change our evil ways one day, and it will be because of what you read in that overly distributed mostly mis-translated epic work of fiction that you've been poisoned ... uh... I gotta go.